I nearly spat out the food as I surveyed my mother contentedly chewing across the table. Beside me, my father had fear etched on his face as he prodded the limp vegetables on his plate. My brother’s plate remained untouched.
“Amma – what’s this ?” I tried to keep my tone as calm as possible.
My mother looked up at me.
“It’s fish curry. You don’t even know this ?”
“Well yeah we all know how curry tastes like, but what exactly is this nightmare ?”
She stopped eating and looked up with me, eyebrow arched.
“I replaced the oil. I used olive oil.”
“And there is no salt ?”
“I reduced the salt. Stop condemning my efforts, I am trying to make sure everyone eats healthy from now on, especially your father !” Her shrill voice overpowered that of the movie on the television.
Appa cautiously placed the food in his mouth and chewed slowly, as Amma watched on. Moments later, he managed a wry smile and looked at her.
“It’s really nice. Thank you.”
My jaw dropped as my brother started sniggering.
“Just shut up and eat, can you ? Be glad there is food on the table.”
I glared at Jag before shoveling the rice down my throat, feeling the bile rising down the back of my throat at the foreign taste. I gulped down water with every mouthful thanking all my good stars that I had a tiny serving, I hurriedly woke up from the table to wash up, leaving the rest of my family with Amma’s apparent “fish curry”.
“We will be having more healthier dishes in the house, Susila !” Amma called out to me as I was washing my plate.
I scoffed.
“That’s not fair to me ! I’m not the one with cholesterol !”
“You can’t do this one thing for your father ? You eat so much of unhealthy food everyday, you’ve put on so much weight and you have to watch your health also ! No one is going to marry a woman of that size who comes with potential heart risks because she stuffs herself with fried food and sweet drinks all day !”
I rolled my eyes. I was too nonchalant to retort back – also because my mother has soap opera potential, and she gives a hundred percent in every dramatic moment she can seize.
I opened the fridge, intent on grabbing my delicious bar of Cadbury. Instead, I found heaps of greens, still in their NTUC wrapping. Milk and yogurt were replaced with low-fat cartons and an abundance of fruit that made the entire fridge look like an orchard. Even the cans of Jag’s beers and soft drinks were gone. They were replaced with mineral water and sugar-free green tea.
“Amma, really ?” I groaned, as I shut the fridge door in defeat and slouched back to my room to mourn the loss of my appetite.
•••••
Midnight, was when my brother burst into the room, contrite expression in place.
“Get out. Don’t talk to me.”
“I’m sorry Lee ! I just didn’t want to argue with Amma, you know how persistent she gets !”
“Yeah you acted like you loved the food. You could barely chew it !”
“I know, I offered to clean the table and secretly wrapped up the leftovers with the newspaper.” My brother winked cheekily.
I rolled my eyes as I went back to my book. My stomach gave an unceremonious growl as I scowled.
“Okay listen. I’m gonna order MacDonald’s, for both Appa and I. Tell me your order.”
“She will kill you. Appa already has cholesterol and she has started behaving like a certified nutritionist. Jag, don’t get us killed please.”
“She won’t find out. I’ll throw the empty trash out before she can.”
“It’s still too risky Jag.”
“We are all starving Lee. C’mon. She won’t find out I promise. We can clear it up. Even Appa wants me to order.”
I raised my eyebrow in skepticism as my stomach gave another pleading growl, the thought of a juicy McSpicy clouding my mind like cigarette smoke in an enclosed room. Giving in to my hunger pangs, I agreed to be a part of this cholesterol-inducing effort as my brother placed the orders with just a few euphoric taps on the phone.
Within an hour, all three of us had soiled fingers and ketchup on our lips as we transfixed ourselves in front of the television, occasionally looking back at the closed room door to make sure my mother doesn’t burst through the prohibited supper session. Somehow, we managed to wrap up our murder scene and dump all the remaining paper contents quietly by sneaking out of the house to the rubbish chute. Soon enough, sleep started filtering through our systems as we all retired to bed, full and satisfied.
•••••
My mother’s screams woke us up at 7am the next morning.
“Susila ! Jagan ! What did I tell you about MacDonald’s in this house !”
I rolled over my bed groggily, groaning as I cursed my brother softly. He left his extra large Pepsi in the fridge, that idiot.
